
Posted : 14 years, 2 months ago on 13 January 2011 03:57
(A review of
The Trumpet of the Swan (2001))
Honestly, I wonder how I managed to watch this flickā¦ If I recall correctly, I rent it on dvd when there used to be a dvd renting shop in the neighborhood and, at some point, me and my kids had already watched all the good family features and what was left was only such dreadful animated flicks. Anyway, even though I didnāt have some huge expectations, it still turned out to be easily one of the worst animated movies I have ever seen... I mean, in this golden age when you get every 2 months a gorgeous CGI feature to watch, it was rather shocking to see such a downright ugly movie. Personally, I think it is a shame that they dropped the traditionally hand-drawn animation, especially Disney with their historical background, but if the end-result has to so pathetic like here, I think they shouldn't even bother trying. And not only was it ugly, it was also just plain boring. I guess young kids might enjoy it (Nick , my step-son, actually loved it and he even bought the dvd later on with his pocket money) but still, there are so many better animated movies out there to show them. Anyway, this is pretty bad and I definitely cannot recommend it.

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Posted : 14 years, 2 months ago on 13 January 2011 03:46
(A review of
Dante's Peak)
I actually saw this movie before and, to be honest, the first time around, I thought the whole thing was just terrible. Indeed, back then, I was pretty sure it was one of the worst movies I had ever seen. However, since I kept hearing that it wasnāt so bad after all, I decided to check it out again. Well, eventually, I have to admit it, it was actually slightly better than I remembered. I mean, obviously, the story was very often seriously preposterous but it's obviously something inherent to this genre and, at least, they tried to keep a scientific approach as much as possible. Back then in 1997, for some reasons, they decided to release 2 different movies dealing with volcanoes, and even though āVolcanoā was actually less successful at the box-office, I actually preferred āVolcanoā. Indeed, Ā this other movie about the same subject was in fact even more preposterous but I thought it was actually more fun. Still, there is no doubt that both movies were actually rather lame. Anyway, to conclude, this movie was still nothing great and I donāt think it is really worth a look but if you are die-hard fan of the genre maybe you might end up actually enjoying it more than I did.

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Posted : 14 years, 2 months ago on 13 January 2011 03:35
(A review of
Color of Night)
Considering its terrible reputation, of course, I wasnāt expecting much from this flick. Still, I always had a weak spot for Bruce Willis and there was some rather morbid curiosity from my side which pushed me to check if it was indeed really that bad. Eventually, in my opinion, it was indeed easily Bruce Willis' worst movie I ever seen... I mean, he has made enough turkeys in his career but none of them were that bad. It is actually pretty funny to think that, if after watching 'The Sixth Sense', you might think that Bruce could play a believable psychiatrist, you should definitely check this piece of turd then. Seriously, I really don't know where to start... The directing was average (that's the understatement of the year...) , the acting was way over the top, the story was really ridiculous and even the title was really lame. The other weird thing is that Jane March became famous by starring in the erotic flick āLāAmantā but claimed she dreaded the negative attention that she got by starring in this movie. I really wonder how she thought that starring in yet another erotic and dreadful thriller would improve her reputation in any way. Anyway, it is seriously a really bad flick and there is absolutely no reason to watch this, only maybe to see how bad this really is or maybe if you are dying to see Bruce Willis' butt. You have been warned.

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Posted : 14 years, 2 months ago on 13 January 2011 03:22
(A review of
Showgirls (1995))
Tomorrow, Iām planning to watch āYou donāt Nomiā, so I thought I might as well re-watch this movie, especially since it has been ages since I first saw it. Well, after all these years, even if this movie now belongs to the stuff of legend, to be honest, it is still pretty bad though. I mean, it is basically a rather lame and boring erotic B feature, no more and no less than that. Indeed, the first issue I had was that, beside the fact that the story was terribly derivative, they never really settled for a specific tone. Basically, it was never really glamourous or really gritty or really sleazy. Of course, Paul Verhoeven argued that it was supposed to be some kind of satire but, even from this angle, it was never convincing whatsoever. Then, another major issue was the main character who was just really lame. Sure, I have to admit that Elizabeth Berkley, who was only in her early 20's back then, looked really hot but her character was actually more cringe-inducing than really entertaining. Eventually, years later, Verhoeven would take the blame and said that he pushedĀ BerkleyĀ to deliver such a āperformanceā but I still think she never managed to make her character intriguing or entertaining whatsoever. To make things worse, all the other characters involved were not much better at all. For some reason, there was also a completely random rape scene towards the end which had really nothing to do with the rest of the movie. Anyway, for Berkley, her career was pretty much ruined from the start but, to be honest, if she had been really talented, she would have made a come-back at some point. For Verhoeven, this movie would be the beginning of the end and, nowadays, he left the US and he was back making movies in the Netherlands (where he managed to make only one movie after all). Anyway, to conclude, this flick is still a train wreck and you should watch it only if you are curious to see how bad it actually is.

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Posted : 14 years, 2 months ago on 13 January 2011 03:14
(A review of
Striptease)
Even though this movie had a really poor reputation, I was actually quite eager to check it out just to make it sure if it was really that bad. Well, it is indeed quite a mess. I mean, right from the start, the whole thing was just misguided. Apparently, the whole thing was a massive vanity project for Demi Moore as she received a $12.5 million salary (the record at the time for an actress) and she made sure that everybody saw how great her body was in some various talk-shows at the time. Of course, if you consider the material, this was obviously a rather bad idea. But that wasnāt even the worst thing about this flick. No, the worst thing was probably how they messed up the tone. Indeed, basically, it was supposed to be a satirical comedy so all the actors were playing some rather over-the-top cartoonish figures, except for Demi Moore who apparently thought that she was in a drama so the end-result was pretty weird. On top of that, you had some rather weird erotical strip dances only to show that "Whow!!! Demi has a great body and she can definitely pull this off!...". To conclude, the end result was rather weird and pretty much a total disaster.

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Posted : 14 years, 2 months ago on 13 January 2011 03:06
(A review of
Rollerball)
I wasn't expecting much from this flick but since a colleague of mine had the DVD, I thought I should check it out. Furthermore, I must admit I was actually curious to see if it was really that bad. Honestly, it could have been pretty cool. Indeed, to reboot this science-fiction story with some modern special effects was actually a not so bad idea and I'm pretty sure that they had a decent budget. So, the concept was pretty cool but still they managed to make one of the worst movies ever... The story, the acting and even the special effects were just embarrassing. It is hard to believe that the man behind this was John McTiernan, a director responsible for some of the most badass action movies ever made ('Predator' and 'Die Hard'). I mean, the cast was made of B actors (Chris Klein, Jean Reno, LL Cool J, Rebecca Romijn, Naveen Andrews), even though Rebecca Romijn was not bad but, above all, they didn't manage to make this sport looked cool and the whole thing still looked terribly cheesy. To conclude, it was basically a gigantic failure, on all levels, and it is definitely not worth a look whatsoever.

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Posted : 14 years, 2 months ago on 13 January 2011 03:01
(A review of
The Winner)
Honestly, I don't really remember in what circumstances I watched this movie. I think it was in a very cheap DVD box I bought. Anyway, there was actually a pretty good cast (Rebecca De Mornay, Vincent D'Onofrio, Delroy Lindo, Michael Madsen, Billy Bob Thornton) and it started quiet OK but then , I don't know after 15 minutes everything (story, directing, acting,...) went all down the drain. I mean, the beginning looked like a very cheap flick but it still managed to get my attention. But then, the plot just went nowhere and the whole thing became just plain tedious to watch. It is quite surprising that this movie was so bad since Alex Cox seems to be a decent director who made before some interesting movies such as 'Repo Man', 'Sid & Nancy'. In my opinion, the main issue was probably that I didn't care at all about the story and the characters involved and eventually, I was just bored to death by this movie. To conclude, I really didn't like this flick, it is just not good and it is not worth a look whatsoever.

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Posted : 14 years, 2 months ago on 13 January 2011 02:48
(A review of
The Birdcage)
I already saw this movie but, since it was ages ago, I thought I might check it out again. It is in fact a remake of āLa cage aux follesā, a huge classic in France but, I have to admit it that I have actually neverĀ seen this French movie. Well, a lot of people seem to really love this movie (Paul Thomas Anderson is apparently a huge fan) but, I donāt know, maybe I was in a bad mood when I saw the damned thing the first time around but I thought it was just really lame and even borderline awful to watch. Indeed, at the time, the story and the jokes seemed to be just so stupid and not funny at all and, in my opinion, it was one of the worst movies starring Robin Williams I have ever seen. Well, after all these years, I have to admit that it was not so bad at all after all. I was still not really sold by the jokes, even they didnāt bother me that much anymore, but, above all, if you put aside all the comedy stuff, it is in fact a sensitive portrayal of two sweet (if slightly hysterical) gay men who were completely able to raise a perfectly fine straight young man. I really did appreciate the fact that they all loved and cared for each other without any prejudice. Still, 30 years later, the whole thing does feel dated though with all these gay characters played by some straight guys, except Nathan Lane who was still in the closet at the time. Anyway, to conclude, even though Iām still not a huge fan, I have to admit that it is a decent comedy after all and it is in fact worth a look, especially if you like the genre.Ā

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Posted : 14 years, 2 months ago on 13 January 2011 02:41
(A review of
Man Trouble)
Looking back at this flick, I think my rating might have been a little bit harsh and if I would watch it again, there is a good chance I might give it some extra points. If I remember correctly, this movie was in a very cheap box set with 4 movies I bought. Anyway, since I really despised it the first time around, there is no way I'm going to watch it again just to make sure it was really as bad as I remembered. Anyway, by now, I have seen many movies with Jack Nicholson and some of them were just amazing, especially 'Five easy pieces' also directed by Bob Rafelson. This time, Nicholson was working again with Rafelson (for the 5th time already) but the results was not that good... As a matter of fact, I would go as far as saying that it is even the worst movie Jack Nicholson ever made. I mean, the story was just awful, the characters were completely obnoxious and the whole thing was just a downright disaster. Like I said before, my rating might be a little harsh but I really feel it was kind of worthless and you should avoid this one and watch instead 'Five Easy Pieces'.

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Posted : 14 years, 2 months ago on 13 January 2011 02:36
(A review of
Final Vendetta (1996))
Oh dear Godā¦ How did I ever ended up watching this flick?!? If I remember correctly, I bought a bundle of movies on dvd and since this movie was included, I thought I might as well give it a try. It is definitely something I should avoid doing the future. I mean, just watch the movie you are interested in and leave the garbage they gave with it from free. Anyway, why was it so bad? Well, where should I start ? The title was just lame to start with , Bridgette Wilson was completely worthless as a so-called ruthless psychopath, the directing was average at best, the story was rather ridiculous and I seriously didnāt care about the whole thing at any point whatsoever. Basically, it really looked like a very bad and very cheap made-for-TV feature. I'm trying to find something positive to say about it but no, I won't find anything. At least, Bridgette Wilson eventually married Pete Sampras a few years later which means that she wouldnāt act anymore to earn a living so thatās something positive, right? Anyway, basically, this movie is pretty bad and you should just avoid it, even if you get it for free like me, go watch something else instead.

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